Красное и черное

Painful Details

           Youwereintendedbynaturetoliveamongtheheroesofthemiddleages;exhibittheirfirmcharacter.Letwhathastohappentakeplaceinsecretandwithoutyourbeingcompromised.Youwillassumeafalsename,andyouwillconfideinnoone.Ifyouabsolutelyneedafriend’shelp,IbequeaththeabbéPirardtoyou.

           "Donottalktoanyoneelse,particularlytothepeopleofyourownclassthedeLuz’s,theCaylus’s.

           "Ayearaftermydeath,marryM.deCroisenois;Icommandyouasyourhusband.Donotwritetomeatall,Ishallnotanswer.Thoughinmyview,muchlesswickedthanIago,Iamgoingtosay,likehim:’Fromthistimeforth,Ineverwillspeackword.’

           "Ishallneverbeseentospeakorwriteagain.Youwillhavereceivedmyfinalwordsandmyfinalexpressionsofadoration.

           "J.S."

           Itwasonlyafterhehaddespatchedthisletterandhadrecoveredhimselfalittle,thatJulienfeltforthefirsttimeextremelyunhappy.Thosemomentouswords,Ishalldie,meantthesuccessivetearingoutofhisheartofeachindividualhopeandambition.Death,initself,wasnothorribleinhiseyes.Hiswholelifehadbeennothingbutalongpreparationforunhappiness,andhehadmadeapointofnotlosingsightofwhatisconsideredthegreatestunhappinessofall.

           "Comethen,"hesaidtohimself;"ifIhadtofightaduelinacoupleofmonths,withanexpertduellist,shouldIbeweakenoughtothinkaboutitincessantlywithpanicinmysoul?"

           Hepassedmorethananhourintryingtoanalyzehimselfthoroughlyonthisscore.

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