Красное и черное

To Think Is To Be Full of Sorrow

           Ishouldstillhavesomedaystopasswithhimonthisearth,buthellonearth,thedeathofmychildren.Still,perhapsmycrimewillbeforgivenmeatthatprice.Oh,greatGod,donotgrantmemypardonatsogreataprice.ThesepoorchildrenhaveinnowaytransgressedagainstYou.I,Iamtheonlyculprit.Iloveamanwhoisnotmyhusband."

           JuliensubsequentlysawMadamedeRênalattainwhatwereapparentlymomentsoftranquillity.Shewasendeavouringtocontrolherself;shedidnotwishtopoisonthelifeofthemansheloved.Theyfoundthedayspasswiththerapidityoflightningamidthesealternatingmoodsoflove,remorse,andvoluptuousness.Julienlostthehabitofreflecting.

           MademoiselleElisawenttoattendtoalittlelawsuitwhichshehadatVerrières.ShefoundValenodverypiquedagainstJulien.Shehatedthetutorandwouldoftenspeakabouthim.

           "Youwillruinme,Monsieur,ifItellthetruth,"shesaidonedaytoValenod."Allmastershaveanunderstandingamongstthemselveswithregardtomattersofimportance.Therearecertaindisclosureswhichpoorservantsareneverforgiven."

           Afterthesestereotypedphrases,whichhiscuriositymanagedtocutshort,MonsieurValenodreceivedsomeinformationextremelymortifyingtohisself-conceit.

           Thiswoman,whowasthemostdistinguishedinthedistrict,thewomanonwhomhehadlavishedsomuchattentioninthelastsixyears,andmadenosecretofit,morewasthepity,thiswomanwhowassoproud,whosedisdainhadputhimtotheblushtimeswithoutnumber,hadjusttakenforherloveralittleworkmanmasqueradingasatutor

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