Емма

Chapter 14

           Iknowyouwillsooncallonher;sheislivingindreadofthevisit.Perhapsitispaidalready.Letmehearfromyouwithoutdelay;Iamimpatientforathousandparticulars.RememberhowfewminutesIwasatRandalls,andinhowbewildered,howmadastate:andIamnotmuchbetteryet;stillinsaneeitherfromhappinessormisery.WhenIthinkofthekindnessandfavourIhavemetwith,ofherexcellenceandpatience,andmyuncle’sgenerosity,Iammadwithjoy:butwhenIrecollectalltheuneasinessIoccasionedher,andhowlittleIdeservetobeforgiven,Iammadwithanger.IfIcouldbutseeheragain!ButImustnotproposeityet.Myunclehasbeentoogoodformetoencroach.Imuststilladdtothislongletter.Youhavenotheardallthatyououghttohear.Icouldnotgiveanyconnecteddetailyesterday;butthesuddenness,and,inonelight,theunseasonablenesswithwhichtheaffairburstout,needsexplanation;forthoughtheeventofthe26thult.,asyouwillconclude,immediatelyopenedtomethehappiestprospects,Ishouldnothavepresumedonsuchearlymeasures,butfromtheveryparticularcircumstances,whichleftmenotanhourtolose.Ishouldmyselfhaveshrunkfromanythingsohasty,andshewouldhavefelteveryscrupleofminewithmultipliedstrengthandrefinement.ButIhadnochoice.ThehastyengagementshehadenteredintowiththatwomanHere,mydearmadam,Iwasobligedtoleaveoffabruptly,torecollectandcomposemyself.

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