Королі та капуста
The Phonograph and the Graft
"‘Themarvelousinvention,’hesays,‘entitledthephonograph,hasneverinvadedtheseshores.Thepeoplehaveneverheardit.Theywouldnotbelieveitiftheyshould.Simple-heartedchildrenofnature,progresshasnevercondemnedthemtoaccepttheworkofacan-openerasanoverture,andrag-timemightincitethemtoabloodyrevolution.Butyoucantrytheexperiment.Thebestchanceyouhaveisthatthepopulacemaynotwakeupwhenyouplay.There’stwoways,’saystheconsul,‘theymaytakeit.Theymaybecomeinebriatedwithattention,likeanAtlantacolonellisteningto"MarchingThroughGeorgia,"ortheywillgetexcitedandtransposethekeyofthemusicwithanaxeandyourselvesintoadungeon.Inthelattercase,’saystheconsul,‘I’lldomydutybycablingtotheStateDepartment,andI’llwraptheStarsandStripesaroundyouwhenyoucometobeshot,andthreatenthemwiththevengeanceofthegreatestgoldexportandfinancialreservenationonearth.Theflagisfullofbulletholesnow,’saystheconsul,‘madeinthatway.Twicebefore,’saystheconsul,‘IhavecabledourgovernmentforacoupleofgunboatstoprotectAmericancitizens.ThefirsttimetheDepartmentsentmeapairofgumboots.TheothertimewaswhenamannamedPeasewasgoingtobeexecutedhere.TheyreferredthatappealtotheSecretaryofAgriculture.Letusnowdisturbtheseñorbehindthebarforasubsequenceoftheredwine.’
"ThussoliloquizedtheconsulofSolitastomeandHenryHorsecollar.
