Королі та капуста
The Phonograph and the Graft
"Thecaptainwentashorewithus,andofferedtoconductwhatheseemedtoliketocalltheobsequies.HeintroducedHenryandmetotheUnitedStatesConsul,andaroanman,theheadoftheDepartmentofMercenaryandLicentiousDispositions,thewayitreaduponhissign.
"‘Itouchhereagainaweekfromtoday,’saysthecaptain.
"‘Bythattime,’wetoldhim,‘we’llbeamassingwealthintheinteriortownswithourgalvanizedprimadonnaandcorrectimitationsofSousa’sbandexcavatingamarchfromatinmine.’
"‘Ye’llnot,’saysthecaptain.‘Ye’llbehypnotized.Anygentlemanintheaudiencewhokindlystepsuponthestageandlooksthiscountryintheeyewillbeconvertedtothehypothesisthathe’sbutaflyintheElgincreamery.Ye’llbestandingkneedeepinthesurfwaitingforme,andyourmachineformakingHamburgersteakoutofthehithertorespectedartofmusicwillbeplaying"There’snoplacelikehome."’
"Henryskinnedatwentyoffhisroll,andreceivedfromtheBureauofMercenaryDispositionsapaperbearingaredsealandadialectstory,andnochange.
"Thenwegottheconsulfullofredwine,andstruckhimforahoroscope.Hewasathin,youngishkindofman,Ishouldsaypastfifty,sortofFrench–Irishinhisaffections,andpuffedupwithdisconsolation.Yes,hewasaflattenedkindofaman,inwhomdrinklaystagnant,inclinedtocorpulenceandmisery.Yes,IthinkhewasakindofDutchman,beingverysadandgenialinhisways.
