The Vitagraphoscope

           Vaudevilleisintrinsicallyepisodicanddiscontinuous.Itsaudiencesdonotdemanddénoûements.Sufficientuntoeach"turn"istheevilthereof.Noonecareshowmanyromancesthesingingcomédiennemayhavehadifshecancapablysustainthelimelightandahighnoteortwo.Theaudiencesrecknotiftheperformingdogsgettothepoundthemomenttheyhavejumpedthroughtheirlasthoop.Theydonotdesirebulletinsaboutthepossibleinjuriesreceivedbythecomicbicyclistwhoretireshead-firstfromthestageinacrashof(property)china-ware.NeitherdotheyconsiderthattheirseatcouponsentitlethemtobeinstructedwhetherornothereisasentimentbetweentheladysolobanjoistandtheIrishmonologist.

           Thereforeletushavenoliftingofthecurtainuponatableauoftheunitedlovers,backgroundedbydefeatedvillainyandderogatedbythecomic,osculatingmaidandbutler,throwninasasoptotheCerberiofthefifty-centseats.

           Butourprogrammeendswithabrief"turn"ortwo;andthentotheexits.Whoeversitstheshowoutmayfind,ifhewill,theslenderthreadthatbindstogether,thougheversoslightly,thestorythat,perhaps,onlytheWalruswillunderstand.

           Extractsfromaletterfromthefirstvice-presidentoftheRepublicInsuranceCompany,ofNewYorkCity,toFrankGoodwin,ofCoralio,RepublicofAnchuria.

           MyDearMr.Goodwin:—YourcommunicationperMessrs.HowlandandFourchet,ofNewOrleans,hasreachedus.AlsotheirdraftonN.Y.for$100,000,theamountabstractedfromthefundsofthiscompanybythelateJ