Chapter 36

           IfElizabeth,whenMr.Darcygavehertheletter,didnotexpectittocontainarenewalofhisoffers,shehadformednoexpectationatallofitscontents. Butsuchastheywere,itmaywellbesupposedhoweagerlyshewentthroughthem,andwhatacontrarietyofemotiontheyexcited. Herfeelingsasshereadwerescarcelytobedefined. Withamazementdidshefirstunderstandthathebelievedanyapologytobeinhispower; andsteadfastlywasshepersuaded,thathecouldhavenoexplanationtogive,whichajustsenseofshamewouldnotconceal. Withastrongprejudiceagainsteverythinghemightsay,shebeganhisaccountofwhathadhappenedatNetherfield. Shereadwithaneagernesswhichhardlyleftherpowerofcomprehension,andfromimpatienceofknowingwhatthenextsentencemightbring,wasincapableofattendingtothesenseoftheonebeforehereyes. Hisbeliefofhersister’sinsensibilitysheinstantlyresolvedtobefalse; andhisaccountofthereal,theworstobjectionstothematch,madehertooangrytohaveanywishofdoinghimjustice. Heexpressednoregretforwhathehaddonewhichsatisfiedher;hisstylewasnotpenitent,buthaughty. Itwasallprideandinsolence. 

           ButwhenthissubjectwassucceededbyhisaccountofMr.Wickham —whenshereadwithsomewhatclearerattentionarelationofeventswhich,iftrue,mustoverthroweverycherishedopinionofhisworth,andwhichboresoalarminganaffinitytohisownhistoryofhimself—herfeelingswereyetmoreacutelypainfulandmoredifficultofdefinition. Astonishment,apprehension,andevenhorror,oppressedher. Shewishedtodiscredititentirely,repeatedlyexclaiming, "Thismustbefalse!Thiscannotbe!Thismustbethegrossestfalsehood!" —andwhenshehadgonethroughthewholeletter,thoughscarcelyknowinganythingofthelastpageortwo,putithastilyaway,protestingthatshewouldnotregardit,thatshewouldneverlookinitagain.