Ідіот

Chapter 5

           Hewishedtoputittohimselfasquicklyandclearlyaspossible,thatherewashe,aliving,thinkingman,andthatinthreeminuteshewouldbenobody;orifsomebodyorsomething,thenwhatandwhere?Hethoughthewoulddecidethisquestiononceforallintheselastthreeminutes.Alittlewayofftherestoodachurch,anditsgildedspireglitteredinthesun.Herememberedstaringstubbornlyatthisspire,andattheraysoflightsparklingfromit.Hecouldnottearhiseyesfromtheseraysoflight;hegottheideathattheserayswerehisnewnature,andthatinthreeminuteshewouldbecomeoneofthem,amalgamatedsomehowwiththem.

           “Therepugnancetowhatmustensuealmostimmediately,andtheuncertainty,weredreadful,hesaid;butworstofallwastheidea,‘WhatshouldIdoifIwerenottodienow?WhatifIweretoreturntolifeagain?Whataneternityofdays,andallmine!HowIshouldgrudgeandcountupeveryminuteofit,soastowastenotasingleinstant!’Hesaidthatthisthoughtweighedsouponhimandbecamesuchaterribleburdenuponhisbrainthathecouldnotbearit,andwishedtheywouldshoothimquicklyandhavedonewithit.”

           Theprincepausedandallwaited,expectinghimtogoonagainandfinishthestory.

           “Isthatall?”askedAglaya.

           “All?Yes,”saidtheprince,emergingfromamomentaryreverie.

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