Ідіот

Chapter 8

           IcamewithmymindmadeupastowhatIhadtosaytoyou,andIshallnotchangemyintention,althoughyoumaymisunderstandme.Somuchtheworseforyou,notformyself!Iwishedtoreplytoallyouhavewrittentomeandtoreplypersonally,becauseIthinkthatisthemoreconvenientway.Listentomyreplytoallyourletters.IbegantobesorryforPrinceLefNicolaievitchontheverydayImadehisacquaintance,andwhenIheardafterwardsofallthattookplaceatyourhouseintheevening,Iwassorryforhimbecausehewassuchasimple-mindedman,andbecausehe,inthesimplicityofhissoul,believedthathecouldbehappywithawomanofyourcharacter.WhatIfearedactuallytookplace;youcouldnotlovehim,youtorturedhim,andthrewhimover.Youcouldnotlovehimbecauseyouaretooproudno,notproud,thatisanerror;becauseyouaretoovainno,notquitethateither;tooself-loving;youareself-lovingtomadness.Yourletterstomeareaproofofit.Youcouldnotlovesosimpleasoulashis,andperhapsinyourheartyoudespisedhimandlaughedathim.Allyoucouldlovewasyourshameandtheperpetualthoughtthatyouweredisgracedandinsulted.Ifyouwerelessshameful,orhadnocauseatallforshame,youwouldbestillmoreunhappythanyouarenow.”

           Aglayabroughtoutthesethrongingwordswithgreatsatisfaction.Theycamefromherlipshurriedlyandimpetuously,andhadbeenpreparedandthoughtoutlongago,evenbeforeshehadeverdreamedofthepresentmeeting.

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