Ідіот

Chapter 8

           Perhapsshemeanttocallforhim,herself,oritmightbe,ofcourse,thatshewasanxioustomakesureofhisnotcomingthere,andthereforebadehimremainathome.Hisheadwhirled;thewholeroomseemedtobeturninground.Helaydownonthesofa,andclosedhiseyes.

           Onewayortheotherthequestionwastobedecidedatlastfinally.

           Oh,no,hedidnotthinkofAglayaasaboarding-schoolmiss,orayoungladyoftheconventionaltype!Hehadlongsincefearedthatshemighttakesomesuchstepasthis.ButwhydidshewishtoseeNastasia?

           Heshiveredalloverashelay;hewasinhighfeveragain.

           No!hedidnotaccountherachild.Certainofherlooks,certainofherwords,oflate,hadfilledhimwithapprehension.Attimesithadstruckhimthatshewasputtingtoogreatarestraintuponherself,andherememberedthathehadbeenalarmedtoobservethis.Hehadtried,allthesedays,todriveawaytheheavythoughtsthatoppressedhim;butwhatwasthehiddenmysteryofthatsoul?Thequestionhadlongtormentedhim,althoughheimplicitlytrustedthatsoul.Andnowitwasalltobeclearedup.Itwasadreadfulthought.And“thatwoman”again!Whydidhealwaysfeelasthough“thatwoman”werefatedtoappearateachcriticalmomentofhislife,andtearthethreadofhisdestinylikeabitofrottenstring?Thathealwayshadfeltthishewasreadytoswear,althoughhewashalfdeliriousatthemoment.Ifhehadtriedtoforgether,allthistime,itwassimplybecausehewasafraidofher.

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