Ідіот

Chapter 1

           Forthe“clevercommonplace”person,thoughhemaypossiblyimaginehimselfamanofgeniusandoriginality,nonethelesshaswithinhisheartthedeathlesswormofsuspicionanddoubt;andthisdoubtsometimesbringsaclevermantodespair.(Asarule,however,nothingtragichappens;hisliverbecomesalittledamagedinthecourseoftime,nothingmoreserious.Suchmendonotgiveuptheiraspirationsafteroriginalitywithoutaseverestruggle,andtherehavebeenmenwho,thoughgoodfellowsinthemselves,andevenbenefactorstohumanity,havesunktothelevelofbasecriminalsforthesakeoforiginality).

           Ganiawasabeginner,asitwere,uponthisroad.Adeepandunchangeableconsciousnessofhisownlackoftalent,combinedwithavastlongingtobeabletopersuadehimselfthathewasoriginal,hadrankledinhisheart,evenfromchildhood.

           Heseemedtohavebeenbornwithoverwroughtnerves,andinhispassionatedesiretoexcel,hewasoftenledtothebrinkofsomerashstep;andyet,havingresolveduponsuchastep,whenthemomentarrived,heinvariablyprovedtoosensibletotakeit.Hewasready,inthesameway,todoabaseactioninordertoobtainhiswished-forobject;andyet,whenthemomentcametodoit,hefoundthathewastoohonestforanygreatbaseness.(Notthatheobjectedtoactsofpettymeannesshewasalwaysreadyforthem.)Helookedwithhateandloathingonthepovertyanddownfallofhisfamily,andtreatedhismotherwithhaughtycontempt,althoughheknewthathiswholefuturedependedonhercharacterandreputation.

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