Ідіот

Chapter 11

           

           “Andyouarenotoffended?”

           “WhyshouldIbeoffended?”

           “Well,justlisten,prince.Iremainedherelastevening,partlybecauseIhaveagreatadmirationfortheFrencharchbishopBourdaloue.Ienjoyedadiscussionoverhimtillthreeo’clockinthemorning,withLebedeff;andthen...thenIswearbyallIholdsacredthatIamtellingyouthetruththenIwishedtodevelopmysoulinthisfrankandheartfeltconfessiontoyou.ThiswasmythoughtasIwassobbingmyselftosleepatdawn.JustasIwaslosingconsciousness,tearsinmysoul,tearsonmyface(IrememberhowIlaytheresobbing),anideafromhellstruckme.‘Whynot,afterconfessing,borrowmoneyfromhim?’Yousee,thisconfessionwasakindofmasterstroke;IintendedtouseitasameanstoyourgoodgraceandfavourandthenthenImeanttowalkoffwithahundredandfiftyroubles.Now,doyounotcallthatbase?”

           “Itishardlyanexactstatementofthecase,”saidtheprinceinreply.“Youhaveconfusedyourmotivesandideas,asIneedscarcelysaytoooftenhappenstomyself.Icanassureyou,Keller,Ireproachmyselfbitterlyforitsometimes.WhenyouweretalkingjustnowIseemedtobelisteningtosomethingaboutmyself.AttimesIhaveimaginedthatallmenwerethesame,”hecontinuedearnestly,forheappearedtobemuchinterestedintheconversation,“andthatconsoledmeinacertaindegree,foradoublemotiveisathingmostdifficulttofightagainst.Ihavetried,andIknow.

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