Ідіот

Chapter 5

           “HowshallIeverlookthismaninthefaceagain?MyGod,whataday!Andwhatanightmare,whatanightmare!”

           Therewasamoment,duringthislong,wretchedwalkbackfromthePetersburgSide,whentheprincefeltanirresistibledesiretogostraighttoRogojin’s,waitforhim,embracehimwithtearsofshameandcontrition,andtellhimofhisdistrust,andfinishwithitonceforall.

           Butherehewasbackathishotel.

           Howoftenduringthedayhehadthoughtofthishotelwithloathingitscorridor,itsrooms,itsstairs.Howhehaddreadedcomingbacktoit,forsomereason.

           “WhataregularoldwomanIamtoday,”hehadsaidtohimselfeachtime,withannoyance.“Ibelieveineveryfoolishpresentimentthatcomesintomyhead.”

           Hestoppedforamomentatthedoor;agreatflushofshamecameoverhim.“Iamacoward,awretchedcoward,”hesaid,andmovedforwardagain;butoncemorehepaused.

           Amongalltheincidentsoftheday,onerecurredtohismindtotheexclusionoftherest;althoughnowthathisself-controlwasregained,andhewasnolongerundertheinfluenceofanightmare,hewasabletothinkofitcalmly.ItconcernedtheknifeonRogojin’stable.“WhyshouldnotRogojinhaveasmanyknivesonhistableashechooses?”thoughttheprince,wonderingathissuspicions,ashehaddonewhenhefoundhimselflookingintothecutler’swindow.

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