Ідіот

Chapter 5

           CanitbethatRogojinwishestomurderanyone?Theprincebegantotrembleviolently.“Itisacrimeonmyparttoimagineanythingsobase,withsuchcynicalfrankness.”Hisfacereddenedwithshameatthethought;andthentherecameacrosshimasinaflashthememoryoftheincidentsatthePavlofskstation,andattheotherstationinthemorning;andthequestionaskedhimbyRogojinabouttheeyesandRogojin’scross,thathewasevennowwearing;andthebenedictionofRogojin’smother;andhisembraceonthedarkenedstaircasethatlastsupremerenunciationandnow,tofindhimselffullofthisnew“idea,”staringintoshop-windows,andlookingroundforthingshowbasehewas!

           Despairovermasteredhissoul;hewouldnotgoon,hewouldgobacktohishotel;heeventurnedandwenttheotherway;butamomentafterhechangedhismindagainandwentonintheolddirection.

           Why,herehewasonthePetersburgSidealready,quiteclosetothehouse!Wherewashis“idea”?Hewasmarchingalongwithoutitnow.Yes,hismaladywascomingback,itwasclearenough;allthisgloomandheaviness,allthese“ideas,”werenothingmorenorlessthanafitcomingon;perhapshewouldhaveafitthisveryday.

           Butjustnowallthegloomanddarknesshadfled,hisheartfeltfullofjoyandhope,therewasnosuchthingasdoubt.Andyes,hehadn’tseenherforsolong;hereallymustseeher.HewishedhecouldmeetRogojin;hewouldtakehishand,andtheywouldgotohertogether.Hisheartwaspure,hewasnorivalofParfen’s.

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