Ідіот

Chapter 6

           OnoneofthefirstdaysofmystayinSwitzerland,Iwasstrollingaboutaloneandmiserable,whenIcameuponthechildrenrushingnoisilyoutofschool,withtheirslatesandbags,andbooks,theirgames,theirlaughterandshoutsandmysoulwentouttothem.IstoppedandlaughedhappilyasIwatchedtheirlittlefeetmovingsoquickly.Girlsandboys,laughingandcrying;forastheywenthomemanyofthemfoundtimetofightandmakepeace,toweepandplay.Iforgotmytroublesinlookingatthem.Andthen,allthosethreeyears,Itriedtounderstandwhymenshouldbeforevertormentingthemselves.Ilivedthelifeofachildthere,andthoughtIshouldneverleavethelittlevillage;indeed,IwasfarfromthinkingthatIshouldeverreturntoRussia.ButatlastIrecognizedthefactthatSchneidercouldnotkeepmeanylonger.Andthensomethingsoimportanthappened,thatSchneiderhimselfurgedmetodepart.Iamgoingtoseenowifcangetgoodadviceaboutit.Perhapsmylotinlifewillbechanged;butthatisnottheprincipalthing.Theprincipalthingistheentirechangethathasalreadycomeoverme.Ileftmanythingsbehindmetoomany.Theyhavegone.OnthejourneyIsaidtomyself,‘Iamgoingintotheworldofmen.Idon’tknowmuch,perhaps,butanewlifehasbegunforme.’Imadeupmymindtobehonest,andsteadfastinaccomplishingmytask.PerhapsIshallmeetwithtroublesandmanydisappointments,butIhavemadeupmymindtobepoliteandsinceretoeveryone;morecannotbeaskedofme.Peoplemayconsidermeachildiftheylike.

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