Тесс з роду д’Ербервілей

Chapter 57

           Ineverlovedhimatall,Angel,asIlovedyou.Youknowit,don’tyou?Youbelieveit?Youdidn’tcomebacktome,andIwasobligedtogobacktohim.Whydidyougoaway—whydidyou—whenIlovedyouso?Ican’tthinkwhyyoudidit.ButIdon’tblameyou;only,Angel,willyouforgivememysinagainstyou,nowIhavekilledhim?IthoughtasIranalongthatyouwouldbesuretoforgivemenowIhavedonethat.ItcametomeasashininglightthatIshouldgetyoubackthatway.Icouldnotbearthelossofyouanylonger—youdon’tknowhowentirelyIwasunabletobearyournotlovingme!Sayyoudonow,dear,dearhusband;sayyoudo,nowIhavekilledhim!”

           “Idoloveyou,Tess—O,Ido—itisallcomeback!”hesaid,tighteninghisarmsroundherwithfervidpressure.“Buthowdoyoumean—youhavekilledhim?”

           “ImeanthatIhave,”shemurmuredinareverie.

           “What,bodily?Ishedead?”

           “Yes.Heheardmecryingaboutyou,andhebitterlytauntedme;andcalledyoubyafoulname;andthenIdidit.Myheartcouldnotbearit.Hehadnaggedmeaboutyoubefore.AndthenIdressedmyselfandcameawaytofindyou.”

           Bydegreeshewasinclinedtobelievethatshehadfaintlyattempted,atleast,whatshesaidshehaddone;andhishorroratherimpulsewasmixedwithamazementatthestrengthofheraffectionforhimself,andatthestrangenessofitsquality,whichhadapparentlyextinguishedhermoralsensealtogether.

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