Скорбота сатани

Chapter 36

           FaintgaspsandweakshudderingsaffectitstillandI,outsideitandnolongerofit,propelitsperishinghandtowritethesefinalwords—Ilive!Tomydespairandhorrortomyremorseandagony,Ilive!ohtheunspeakablemiseryofthisnewlife!AndworstofallGodwhomIdoubted,GodwhomIwastaughttodeny,thiswronged,blasphemed,andoutragedGodEXISTS!AndIcouldhavefoundHimhadIchosenthisknowledgeisforceduponmeasIamtornfromhenceitisshoutedatmebyathousandwailingvoices!...toolate!toolate!thescarletwingsbeatmedownwardthesestrangehalf-shapelessformscloseroundanddrivemeonward...toafurtherdarkness,...amidwindandfire!

           ·····Serveme,deadhand,oncemoreereIdepart,...mytorturedspiritmustseizeandcompelyoutowritedownthisthingunnameable,thatearthlyeyesmayread,andearthlysoulstaketimelywarning!...IknowatlastWHOMIhaveloved!whomIhavechosen,whomIhaveworshipped!...OhGod,havemercy!...IknowWHOclaimsmyworshipnow,anddragsmeintoyonderrollingworldofflame!...hisnameis"

           Herethemanuscriptendedincompleteandbrokenoffabruptlyandtherewasablotonthelastsentenceasthoughthepenhadbeenviolentlywrenchedfromthedyingfingersandhastilyflungdown.

           Theclockinthewestroomagainchimedthehour.Irosestifflyfrommychair,tremblingmyself-possessionwasgivingway,andIbegantofeelatlastunnerved.

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