Chapter 32

           

           Oh,theblessednessofabsoluteunconsciousness!Itisenoughtomakeonewishthatdeathwereindeedannihilation!Utteroblivion—completedestruction—surelythiswouldbeagreatermercytotheerringsoulofmanthantheterribleGod’s-giftofImmortality—thedazzlingimpressofthatdivine‘Image’oftheCreatorinwhichweareallmade,andwhichwecanneverobliteratefromourbeings.I,whohaverealizedtothefulltheunalterabletruthofeternallife—eternalregenerationforeachindividualspiritineachindividualhumancreature—lookupontheendlessfuturesthroughwhichIamcompelledtotakemypartwithsomethingmorelikehorrorthangratitude.ForIhavewastedmytimeandthrownawaypricelessopportunities—andthoughrepentancemayretrievethese,theworkofretrievalislongandbitter.Itiseasiertoloseaglorythantowinit;andifIcouldhavediedthedeaththatpositivistshopeforattheverymomentwhenIlearnedthefullmeasureofmyheart’sdesolation,surelyitwouldhavebeenwell!Butmytemporaryswoonwasonlytoobrief—andwhenIrecoveredIfoundmyselfinLucio’sownapartment,oneofthelargestandmostsumptuouslyfurnishedofalltheguest-chambersatWillowsmere—thewindowswerewideopen,andthefloorwasfloodedwithmoonlight.

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