Chapter 29

           Atranquiltimenowensued;atimewhich,thoughIknewitnot,wasjustthatsingularpausesofrequentlyobservedinnaturebeforeastorm,andinhumanlifebeforeacrushingcalamity.Iputasidealltroublesomeandharassingthoughts,andbecameobliviousofeverythingsavemyownpersonalsatisfactionintherenewalofthecomradeshipbetweenmyselfandLucio.Wewalkedtogether,rodetogether,andpassedmostofourdaysineachother’scompany—neverthelessthoughIgavemyfriendmuchofmyclosestconfidenceIneverspoketohimofthemoralobliquitiesandperversionsIhaddiscoveredinSibyl’scharacter—notoutofanyconsiderationforSibyl,butsimplybecauseIknewbyinstinctwhathisreplywouldbe.Hewouldhavenosympathywithmyfeelings.Hiskeensenseofsarcasmwouldover-rulehisfriendship,andhewouldretortuponmewiththequestion—WhatbusinesshadI,beingimperfectmyself,toexpectperfectioninmywife?LikemanyothersofmysexIhadthenotionthatI,asman,coulddoallIpleased,whenIpleasedandhowIpleased;IcouldsinktoalevellowerthanthatofthebeastsifIchose—butallthesameIhadtherighttodemandfrommywifethemostflawlesspuritytomatewithmydefilement.IwasawarehowLuciowouldtreatthisformofarrogantegoism—andwithwhatmockinglaughterhewouldreceiveanyexpressionofideasfrommeonthesubjectofmoralityinwoman.

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