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Chapter 35

           Thencametheroughawakeningfromallmydreams—childhoodmeltedintowomanhood—andatsixteenIwastakenuptotownwithmyparentsto"knowsomethingofthewaysandmannersofsociety,"beforefinally‘comingout.’Oh,thosewaysandmanners!Ilearntthemtoperfection!Astonishedatfirst,thenbewildered,andallowednotimetoformanyjudgmentonwhatIsaw,Iwashurriedthroughageneralvague‘impression’ofthingssuchasIhadneverimaginedordreamedof.WhileIwasyetlostinwonderment,andkeptconstantlyincompanionshipwithyounggirlsofmyownrankandage,whoneverthelessseemedmuchmoreadvancedinknowledgeoftheworldthanI,myfathersuddenlyinformedmethatWillowsmerewaslosttous—thathecouldnotaffordtokeepitup—andthatweshouldreturntherenomore.Ah,whattearsIshed!—whatafuryofgriefconsumedme!—Ididnotthencomprehendthedifficultentanglementsofeitherwealthorpoverty;—allIcouldrealizewasthatthedoorsofmydearoldhomewerecloseduponmeforever.Afterthat,IthinkIgrewcoldandhardindisposition;Ihadneverlovedmymotherverydearly—infactIhadseenverylittleofher,asshewasalwaysawayvisiting,ifnotentertainingvisitors,andsheseldomhadmewithher—sothatwhenshewassuddenlystruckdownbyafirstshockofparalysis,itaffectedmebutlittle.

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