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Chapter 35

           ThencametheroughawakeningfromallmydreamschildhoodmeltedintowomanhoodandatsixteenIwastakenuptotownwithmyparentsto"knowsomethingofthewaysandmannersofsociety,"beforefinally‘comingout.’Oh,thosewaysandmanners!Ilearntthemtoperfection!Astonishedatfirst,thenbewildered,andallowednotimetoformanyjudgmentonwhatIsaw,Iwashurriedthroughageneralvague‘impression’ofthingssuchasIhadneverimaginedordreamedof.WhileIwasyetlostinwonderment,andkeptconstantlyincompanionshipwithyounggirlsofmyownrankandage,whoneverthelessseemedmuchmoreadvancedinknowledgeoftheworldthanI,myfathersuddenlyinformedmethatWillowsmerewaslosttousthathecouldnotaffordtokeepitupandthatweshouldreturntherenomore.Ah,whattearsIshed!whatafuryofgriefconsumedme!Ididnotthencomprehendthedifficultentanglementsofeitherwealthorpoverty;allIcouldrealizewasthatthedoorsofmydearoldhomewerecloseduponmeforever.Afterthat,IthinkIgrewcoldandhardindisposition;IhadneverlovedmymotherverydearlyinfactIhadseenverylittleofher,asshewasalwaysawayvisiting,ifnotentertainingvisitors,andsheseldomhadmewithhersothatwhenshewassuddenlystruckdownbyafirstshockofparalysis,itaffectedmebutlittle.

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