Скорбота сатани

Chapter 4

           NowI,forexample—youcannotimaginewhatgreatcapabilitiesIhadonce!—alongtimeago—beforeIbecamemyownmaster!"

           "AndyouhavethemstillIamsure"—Iaverred,lookingexpressivelyathisnobleheadandfineeyes.

           ThestrangesubtlesmileIhadnoticedonceortwicebeforelightenedhisface."Ah,youmeantocomplimentme!"hesaid—"Youlikemylooks—manypeopledo.Yetafterallthereisnothingsodeceptiveasone’soutwardappearance.Thereasonofthisisthatassoonaschildhoodispast,wearealwayspretendingtobewhatwearenot—andthus,withconstantpracticefromouryouthup,wemanagetomakeourphysicalframescompletedisguisesforouractualselves.Itisreallywiseandcleverofus—forhenceeachindividualissomuchflesh-wallthroughwhichneitherfriendnorenemycanspy.Everymanisasolitarysoulimprisonedinaself-madeden—whenheisquitealoneheknowsandfrequentlyhateshimself—sometimesheevengetsafraidofthegauntandmurderousmonsterhekeepshiddenbehindhisoutwardlypleasantbody-mask,andhastenstoforgetitsfrightfulexistenceindrinkanddebauchery.ThatiswhatIdooccasionally—youwouldnotthinkitofme,wouldyou?"

           "Never!"Irepliedquickly,forsomethinginhisvoiceandaspectmovedmestrangely—"Youbelieyourself,andwrongyourownnature."

           Helaughedsoftly.

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