Скорбота сатани

Chapter 1

           AttheperiodIamspeakingofhowever,I,whohavesincebeenoneofthemostenviedofmen,knewthecruelmeaningofthewordhunger,toowellthegnawingpain,thesickfaintness,thedeadlystupor,theinsatiableanimalcravingformerefood,allofwhichsensationsarefrightfulenoughtothosewhoare,unhappily,dailyinuredtothem,butwhichwhentheyafflictonewhohasbeentenderlyrearedandbroughtuptoconsiderhimselfa‘gentleman,’Godsavethemark!areperhapsstillmorepainfultobear.AndIfeltthatIhadnotdeservedtosufferthewretchednessinwhichIfoundmyself.Ihadworkedhard.Fromthetimemyfatherdied,leavingmetodiscoverthateverypennyofthefortuneIimaginedhepossessedwasduetoswarmingcreditors,andthatnothingofallourhouseandestatewaslefttomeexceptajewelledminiatureofmymotherwhohadlostherownlifeingivingmebirthfromthattimeIsay,Ihadputmyshouldertothewheelandtoiledlateandearly.IhadturnedmyUniversityeducationtotheonlyuseforwhichitorIseemedfittedliterature.IhadsoughtforemploymentonalmosteveryjournalinLondonrefusedbymany,takenontrialbysome,butgettingsteadypayfromnone.Whoeverseekstolivebybrainandpenaloneis,atthebeginningofsuchacareer,treatedasasortofsocialpariah.Nobodywantshimeverybodydespiseshim.Hiseffortsarederided,hismanuscriptsareflungbacktohimunread,andheislesscaredforthanthecondemnedmurdereringaol.

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