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Night Thoughts

           deRênalwascontinuinghisinsultsagainstthosene’er-do-wellsandJacobinswhoweregrowingsorich,Juliencoveredthehandwhichhadbeenabandonedtohimwithkisses,whichwereeitherreallypassionateoratanyrateseemedsotoMadamedeRênal.Butthepoorwomanhadalreadyhadtheproofsonthatsamefataldaythatthemanwhomsheadored,withoutowningittoherself,lovedanother!DuringthewholetimeJulienhadbeenabsentshehadbeenthepreytoanextremeunhappinesswhichhadmadeherreflect.

           "What,"shesaidtoherself,"AmIgoingtolove,amIgoingtobeinlove?AmI,amarriedwoman,goingtofallinlove?But,"shesaidtoherself,"Ihaveneverfeltformyhusbandthisdarkmadness,whichneverpermitsofmykeepingJulienoutofmythoughts.Afterall,heisonlyachildwhoisfullofrespectforme.Thismadnesswillbefleeting.InwhatwaydothesentimentswhichImayhaveforthisyoungmanconcernmyhusband?M.deRênalwouldbeboredbytheconversationswhichIhavewithJulienonimaginativesubjects.Asforhim,hesimplythinksofhisbusiness.IamnottakinganythingawayfromhimtogivetoJulien."

           Nohypocrisyhadsulliedthepurityofthatnaïvesoul,nowsweptawaybyapassionsuchasithadneverfeltbefore.Shedeceivedherself,butwithoutknowingit.Butnonetheless,acertaininstinctofvirtuewasalarmed.SuchwerethecombatswhichwereagitatingherwhenJulienappearedinthegarden.Sheheardhimspeakandalmostatthesamemomentshesawhimsitdownbyherside.

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