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Making Her Afraid

           Averybigoaktreewasquitenear,andthetrunkofthattreepreventedhimfrombeingseenbytheindiscreet.

           AshepassedwithMathildeoverthisveryplacewhichrecalledhisexcessiveunhappinesssovividly,thecontrastbetweenhisformerdespairandhispresenthappinessprovedtoomuchforhischaracter.Tearsinundatedhiseyes,andhecarriedhissweetheart’shandtohislips:"ItwashereIusedtoliveinmythoughtsofyou,itwasfromherethatIusedtolookatthatblind,andwaitedwholehoursforthehappymomentwhenIwouldseethathandopenit."

           Hisweaknesswasunreserved.Heportrayedtheextremityofhisformerdespairingenuinecolourswhichcouldnotpossiblyhavebeeninvented.Shortinterjectionstestifiedtothatpresenthappinesswhichhadputanendtothatawfulagony.

           "MyGod,whatamIdoing?"thoughtJulien,suddenlyrecoveringhimself."Iamruiningmyself."

           InhisexcessivealarmhethoughtthathealreadydetectedadiminutionoftheloveinmademoiselledelaMole’seyes.Itwasanillusion,butJulien’sfacesuddenlychangeditsexpressionandbecameoverspreadbyamortalpallor.Hiseyeslosttheirfire,andanexpressionofhaughtinesstouchedwithmalicesoonsucceededtohislookofthemostgenuineandunreservedlove.

           "Butwhatisthematterwithyou,mydear,"saidMathildetohim,bothtenderlyandanxiously.

           "Iamlying,"saidJulienirritably,"andIamlyingtoyou.Iamreproachingmyselfforit,andyetGodknowsthatIrespectyousufficientlynottolietoyou.Youloveme,youaredevotedtome,andIhavenoneedofpraisesinordertopleaseyou.

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