Морський вовк

Chapter 7

           Heappearedwaitingforthewordswithwhichtoexpressthethoughtthatwasinhim,andfinallywenton.

           "Doyouknow,Iamfilledwithastrangeuplift;Ifeelasifalltimewereechoingthroughme,asthoughallpowersweremine.Iknowtruth,divinegoodfromevil,rightfromwrong.Myvisionisclearandfar.IcouldalmostbelieveinGod.But,"andhisvoicechangedandthelightwentoutofhisface"whatisthisconditioninwhichIfindmyself?thisjoyofliving?thisexultationoflife?thisinspiration,Imaywellcallit?Itiswhatcomeswhenthereisnothingwrongwithone’sdigestion,whenhisstomachisintrimandhisappetitehasanedge,andallgoeswell.Itisthebribeforliving,thechampagneoftheblood,theeffervescenceofthefermentthatmakessomementhinkholythoughts,andothermentoseeGodortocreatehimwhentheycannotseehim.Thatisall,thedrunkennessoflife,thestirringandcrawlingoftheyeast,thebabblingofthelifethatisinsanewithconsciousnessthatitisalive.Andbah!To-morrowIshallpayforitasthedrunkardpays.AndIshallknowthatImustdie,atseamostlikely,ceasecrawlingofmyselftobealla-crawlwiththecorruptionofthesea;tobefedupon,tobecarrion,toyieldupallthestrengthandmovementofmymusclesthatitmaybecomestrengthandmovementinfinandscaleandthegutsoffishes.Bah!Andbah!again.Thechampagneisalreadyflat.Thesparkleandbubblehasgoneoutanditisatastelessdrink."

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