Ярмарка тщеславия

In Which a Charade Is Acted Which May or May Not Puzzle the Reader

           

           Thethreesyllablesofthischaradeweretobedepictedinpantomime,andtheperformancetookplaceinthefollowingwise:

           Firstsyllable.ColonelRawdonCrawley,C.B.,withaslouchedhatandastaff,agreat-coat,andalanternborrowedfromthestables,passedacrossthestagebawlingout,asifwarningtheinhabitantsofthehour.Inthelowerwindowareseentwobagmenplayingapparentlyatthegameofcribbage,overwhichtheyyawnmuch.TothementersonelookinglikeBoots(theHonourableG.Ringwood),whichcharactertheyounggentlemanperformedtoperfection,anddiveststhemoftheirlowercoverings;andpresentlyChambermaid(theRightHonourableLordSouthdown)withtwocandlesticks,andawarming-pan.Sheascendstotheupperapartmentandwarmsthebed.Sheusesthewarming-panasaweaponwherewithshewardsofftheattentionofthebagmen.Sheexits.Theyputontheirnight-capsandpulldowntheblinds.Bootscomesoutandclosestheshuttersoftheground-floorchamber.Youhearhimboltingandchainingthedoorwithin.Allthelightsgoout.ThemusicplaysDormez,dormez,chersAmours.Avoicefrombehindthecurtainsays,"Firstsyllable."

           Secondsyllable.Thelampsarelightedupallofasudden.ThemusicplaystheoldairfromJohnofParis,Ahquelplaisird’etreenvoyage.Itisthesamescene.Betweenthefirstandsecondfloorsofthehouserepresented,youbeholdasignonwhichtheSteynearmsarepainted.Allthebellsareringingalloverthehouse.

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