Ярмарка тщеславия

In Which a Charade Is Acted Which May or May Not Puzzle the Reader

           Ifeverypersonistobebanishedfromsocietywhorunsintodebtandcannotpayifwearetobepeeringintoeverybody’sprivatelife,speculatingupontheirincome,andcuttingthemifwedon’tapproveoftheirexpenditurewhy,whatahowlingwildernessandintolerabledwellingVanityFairwouldbe!Everyman’shandwouldbeagainsthisneighbourinthiscase,mydearsir,andthebenefitsofcivilizationwouldbedoneawaywith.Weshouldbequarrelling,abusing,avoidingoneanother.Ourhouseswouldbecomecaverns,andweshouldgoinragsbecausewecaredfornobody.Rentswouldgodown.Partieswouldn’tbegivenanymore.Allthetradesmenofthetownwouldbebankrupt.Wine,wax-lights,comestibles,rouge,crinoline-petticoats,diamonds,wigs,Louis-Quatorzegimcracks,andoldchina,parkhacks,andsplendidhigh-steppingcarriagehorsesallthedelightsoflife,Isaywouldgotothedeuce,ifpeopledidbutactupontheirsillyprinciplesandavoidthosewhomtheydislikeandabuse.Whereas,byalittlecharityandmutualforbearance,thingsaremadetogoonpleasantlyenough:wemayabuseamanasmuchaswelike,andcallhimthegreatestrascalunhangedbutdowewishtohanghimtherefore?No.Weshakehandswhenwemeet.Ifhiscookisgoodweforgivehimandgoanddinewithhim,andweexpecthewilldothesamebyus.Thustradeflourishescivilizationadvances;peaceiskept;newdressesarewantedfornewassemblieseveryweek;andthelastyear’svintageofLafittewillremuneratethehonestproprietorwhorearedit.

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