Ярмарка тщеславия

In Which a Charade Is Acted Which May or May Not Puzzle the Reader

           

           Ladies,areyouawarethatthegreatPittlivedinBakerStreet?WhatwouldnotyourgrandmothershavegiventobeaskedtoLadyHester’spartiesinthatnowdecayedmansion?Ihavedinedinitmoiquivousparle,Ipeopledthechamberwithghostsofthemightydead.Aswesatsoberlydrinkingclarettherewithmenofto-day,thespiritsofthedepartedcameinandtooktheirplacesroundthedarksomeboard.Thepilotwhoweatheredthestormtossedoffgreatbumpersofspiritualport;theshadeofDundasdidnotleavetheghostofaheeltap.Addingtonsatbowingandsmirkinginaghastlymanner,andwouldnotbebehindhandwhenthenoiselessbottlewentround;Scott,fromunderbushyeyebrows,winkedattheapparitionofabeeswing;Wilberforce’seyeswentuptotheceiling,sothathedidnotseemtoknowhowhisglasswentupfulltohismouthandcamedownempty;uptotheceilingwhichwasaboveusonlyyesterday,andwhichthegreatofthepastdayshavealllookedat.Theyletthehouseasafurnishedlodgingnow.Yes,LadyHesteroncelivedinBakerStreet,andliesasleepinthewilderness.EothensawhertherenotinBakerStreet,butintheothersolitude.

           Itisallvanitytobesure,butwhowillnotowntolikingalittleofit?Ishouldliketoknowwhatwell-constitutedmind,merelybecauseitistransitory,dislikesroastbeef?Thatisavanity,butmayeverymanwhoreadsthishaveawholesomeportionofitthroughlife,Ibeg:aye,thoughmyreaderswerefivehundredthousand.

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