Ярмарка тщеславия

How Captain Dobbin Bought a Piano

           Oldwomenandamateurshaveinvadedtheupperapartments,pinchingthebed-curtains,pokingintothefeathers,shampooingthemattresses,andclappingthewardrobedrawerstoandfro.Enterprisingyounghousekeepersaremeasuringthelooking-glassesandhangingstoseeiftheywillsuitthenewmenage(SnobwillbragforyearsthathehaspurchasedthisorthatatDives’ssale),andMr.Hammerdownissittingonthegreatmahoganydining-tables,inthedining-roombelow,wavingtheivoryhammer,andemployingalltheartificesofeloquence,enthusiasm,entreaty,reason,despair;shoutingtohispeople;satirizingMr.Davidsforhissluggishness;inspiritingMr.Mossintoaction;imploring,commanding,bellowing,untildowncomesthehammerlikefate,andwepasstothenextlot.ODives,whowouldeverhavethought,aswesatroundthebroadtablesparklingwithplateandspotlesslinen,tohaveseensuchadishattheheadofitasthatroaringauctioneer?

           Itwasratherlateinthesale.Theexcellentdrawing-roomfurniturebythebestmakers;therareandfamouswinesselected,regardlessofcost,andwiththewell-knowntasteofthepurchaser;therichandcompletesetoffamilyplatehadbeensoldonthepreviousdays.Certainofthebestwines(whichallhadagreatcharacteramongamateursintheneighbourhood)hadbeenpurchasedforhismaster,whoknewthemverywell,bythebutlerofourfriendJohnOsborne,Esquire,ofRussellSquare.

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