Холодный дом

A Progress

           Rachael,ouronlyservant,whotookmylightawaywhenIwasinbed(anotherverygoodwoman,butausteretome),andshehadonlysaid,"Esther,goodnight!"andgoneawayandleftme.AlthoughthereweresevengirlsattheneighbouringschoolwhereIwasadayboarder,andalthoughtheycalledmelittleEstherSummerson,Iknewnoneofthemathome.AllofthemwereolderthanI,tobesure(Iwastheyoungesttherebyagooddeal),butthereseemedtobesomeotherseparationbetweenusbesidesthat,andbesidestheirbeingfarmorecleverthanIwasandknowingmuchmorethanIdid.Oneoftheminthefirstweekofmygoingtotheschool(Irememberitverywell)invitedmehometoalittleparty,tomygreatjoy.Butmygodmotherwroteastiffletterdecliningforme,andIneverwent.Ineverwentoutatall.Itwasmybirthday.Therewereholidaysatschoolonotherbirthdaysnoneonmine.Therewererejoicingsathomeonotherbirthdays,asIknewfromwhatIheardthegirlsrelatetooneanothertherewerenoneonmine.Mybirthdaywasthemostmelancholydayathomeinthewholeyear.Ihavementionedthatunlessmyvanityshoulddeceiveme(asIknowitmay,forImaybeveryvainwithoutsuspectingit,thoughindeedIdon’t),mycomprehensionisquickenedwhenmyaffectionis.Mydispositionisveryaffectionate,andperhapsImightstillfeelsuchawoundifsuchawoundcouldbereceivedmorethanoncewiththequicknessofthatbirthday.Dinnerwasover,andmygodmotherandIweresittingatthetablebeforethefire.

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