Esther’s Narrative

           WeheldmanyconsultationsaboutwhatRichardwastobe,firstwithoutMr.Jarndyce,ashehadrequested,andafterwardswithhim,butitwasalongtimebeforeweseemedtomakeprogress.Richardsaidhewasreadyforanything.WhenMr.JarndycedoubtedwhetherhemightnotalreadybetoooldtoentertheNavy,Richardsaidhehadthoughtofthat,andperhapshewas.WhenMr.JarndyceaskedhimwhathethoughtoftheArmy,Richardsaidhehadthoughtofthat,too,anditwasn’tabadidea.WhenMr.Jarndyceadvisedhimtotryanddecidewithinhimselfwhetherhisoldpreferencefortheseawasanordinaryboyishinclinationorastrongimpulse,Richardanswered,WellhereallyHADtriedveryoften,andhecouldn’tmakeout."Howmuchofthisindecisionofcharacter,"Mr.Jarndycesaidtome,"ischargeableonthatincomprehensibleheapofuncertaintyandprocrastinationonwhichhehasbeenthrownfromhisbirth,Idon’tpretendtosay;butthatChancery,amongitsothersins,isresponsibleforsomeofit,Icanplainlysee.Ithasengenderedorconfirmedinhimahabitofputtingoffandtrustingtothis,that,andtheotherchance,withoutknowingwhatchanceanddismissingeverythingasunsettled,uncertain,andconfused.Thecharacterofmucholderandsteadierpeoplemaybeevenchangedbythecircumstancessurroundingthem.Itwouldbetoomuchtoexpectthataboy’s,initsformation,shouldbethesubjectofsuchinfluencesandescapethem.

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