Любовник леди Чаттерлей
Chapter 6
Thebitch-goddess!Well,ifonehadtoprostituteoneself,letitbetoabitch-goddess!Onecouldalwaysdespiseherevenwhileoneprostitutedoneselftoher,whichwasgood.
Clifford,ofcourse,hadstillmanychildishtaboosandfetishes.Hewantedtobethought’reallygood’,whichwasallcock-a-hoopynonsense.Whatwasreallygoodwaswhatactuallycaughton.Itwasnogoodbeingreallygoodandgettingleftwithit.Itseemedasifmostofthe’reallygood’menjustmissedthebus.Afterallyouonlylivedonelife,andifyoumissedthebus,youwerejustleftonthepavement,alongwiththerestofthefailures.
ConniewascontemplatingawinterinLondonwithClifford,nextwinter.Heandshehadcaughtthebusallright,sotheymightaswellrideontopforabit,andshowit.
Theworstofitwas,Cliffordtendedtobecomevague,absent,andtofallintofitsofvacantdepression.Itwasthewoundtohispsychecomingout.ButitmadeConniewanttoscream.OhGod,ifthemechanismoftheconsciousnessitselfwasgoingtogowrong,thenwhatwasonetodo?Hangitall,onedidone’sbit!Wasonetobeletdownabsolutely?
Sometimessheweptbitterly,butevenassheweptshewassayingtoherself:Sillyfool,wettinghankies!Asifthatwouldgetyouanywhere!
SinceMichaelis,shehadmadeuphermindshewantednothing.Thatseemedthesimplestsolutionoftheotherwiseinsoluble.Shewantednothingmorethanwhatshe’dgot;onlyshewantedtogetaheadwithwhatshe’dgot:Clifford,thestories,Wragby,theLady-Chatterleybusiness,moneyandfame,suchasitwas...