Любовник леди Чаттерлей
Chapter 11
Iusedtosaytohim:"Youcarefornoughtnornobody!"Buthedid!Thewayhesatwhenmyfirstbabywasborn,motionless,andthesortoffataleyeshelookedatmewith,whenitwasover!Ihadabadtime,butIhadtocomforthim."It’sallright,lad,it’sallright!"Isaidtohim.Andhegavemealook,andthatfunnysortofsmile.Heneversaidanything.ButIdon’tbelievehehadanyrightpleasurewithmeatnightsafter;he’dneverreallylethimselfgo.Iusedtosaytohim:Oh,letthysengo,lad!--I’dtalkbroadtohimsometimes.Andhesaidnothing.Buthewouldn’tlethimselfgo,orhecouldn’t.Hedidn’twantmetohaveanymorechildren.Ialwaysblamedhismother,forlettinghiminth’room.He’dnorightt’avebeenthere.Menmakessomuchmoreofthingsthantheyshould,oncetheystartbrooding.’
’Didhemindsomuch?’saidConnieinwonder.
’Yes,hesortofcouldn’ttakeitfornatural,allthatpain.Anditspoilthispleasureinhisbitofmarriedlove.Isaidtohim:IfIdon’tcare,whyshouldyou?It’smylook-out!--Butallhe’deversaywas:It’snotright!’
’Perhapshewastoosensitive,’saidConnie.
’That’sit!Whenyoucometoknowmen,that’showtheyare:toosensitiveinthewrongplace.AndIbelieve,unbeknowntohimselfhehatedthepit,justhatedit.Helookedsoquietwhenhewasdead,asifhe’dgotfree.Hewassuchanice-lookinglad.Itjustbrokemyhearttoseehim,sostillandpurelooking,asifhe’dwantedtodie.Oh,itbrokemyheart,thatdid.Butitwasthepit.
