Преступление и наказание

Chapter 4

           Itmayexplainagreatdeal.IhavecomebecauseIambad.Therearemenwhowouldn’thavecome.ButIamacowardand...ameanwretch.But...nevermind!That’snotthepoint.Imustspeaknow,butIdon’tknowhowtobegin.”

           Hepausedandsankintothought.

           “Ach,wearesodifferent,”hecriedagain,“wearenotalike.Andwhy,whydidIcome?Ishallneverforgivemyselfthat.”

           “No,no,itwasagoodthingyoucame,”criedSonia.“It’sbetterIshouldknow,farbetter!”

           Helookedatherwithanguish.

           “Whatifitwerereallythat?”hesaid,asthoughreachingaconclusion.“Yes,that’swhatitwas!IwantedtobecomeaNapoleon,thatiswhyIkilledher....Doyouunderstandnow?”

           “N-no,”Soniawhisperednaïvelyandtimidly.“Onlyspeak,speak,Ishallunderstand,Ishallunderstandinmyself!”shekeptbegginghim.

           “You’llunderstand?Verywell,weshallsee!”Hepausedandwasforsometimelostinmeditation.

           “Itwaslikethis:IaskedmyselfonedaythisquestionwhatifNapoleon,forinstance,hadhappenedtobeinmyplace,andifhehadnothadToulonnorEgyptnorthepassageofMontBlanctobeginhiscareerwith,butinsteadofallthosepicturesqueandmonumentalthings,therehadsimplybeensomeridiculousoldhag,apawnbroker,whohadtobemurderedtootogetmoneyfromhertrunk(forhiscareer,youunderstand).Well,wouldhehavebroughthimselftothatiftherehadbeennoothermeans?Wouldn’thehavefeltapangatitsbeingsofarfrommonumentaland...

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