Преступление и наказание

Chapter 4

           Andherewassomethingnewagain:themysteriousmeetingswithLizavetaandbothofthemreligiousmaniacs.

           “Ishallbeareligiousmaniacmyselfsoon!It’sinfectious!”

           “Read!”hecriedirritablyandinsistently.

           Soniastillhesitated.Herheartwasthrobbing.Shehardlydaredtoreadtohim.Helookedalmostwithexasperationatthe“unhappylunatic.”

           “Whatfor?Youdon’tbelieve?...”shewhisperedsoftlyandasitwerebreathlessly.

           “Read!Iwantyouto,”hepersisted.“YouusedtoreadtoLizaveta.”

           Soniaopenedthebookandfoundtheplace.Herhandswereshaking,hervoicefailedher.Twiceshetriedtobeginandcouldnotbringoutthefirstsyllable.

           “NowacertainmanwassicknamedLazarusofBethany...”sheforcedherselfatlasttoread,butatthethirdwordhervoicebrokelikeanoverstrainedstring.Therewasacatchinherbreath.

           RaskolnikovsawinpartwhySoniacouldnotbringherselftoreadtohimandthemorehesawthis,themoreroughlyandirritablyheinsistedonherdoingso.Heunderstoodonlytoowellhowpainfulitwasforhertobetrayandunveilallthatwasherown.Heunderstoodthatthesefeelingsreallywerehersecrettreasure,whichshehadkeptperhapsforyears,perhapsfromchildhood,whileshelivedwithanunhappyfatherandadistractedstepmothercrazedbygrief,inthemidstofstarvingchildrenandunseemlyabuseandreproaches.

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