Chapter 16

           Cursed,cursedcreator!WhydidIlive?Why,inthatinstant,didInotextinguishthesparkofexistencewhichyouhadsowantonlybestowed?Iknownot;despairhadnotyettakenpossessionofme;myfeelingswerethoseofrageandrevenge.Icouldwithpleasurehavedestroyedthecottageanditsinhabitantsandhavegluttedmyselfwiththeirshrieksandmisery.

           "WhennightcameIquittedmyretreatandwanderedinthewood;andnow,nolongerrestrainedbythefearofdiscovery,Igaveventtomyanguishinfearfulhowlings.Iwaslikeawildbeastthathadbrokenthetoils,destroyingtheobjectsthatobstructedmeandrangingthroughthewoodwithastaglikeswiftness.Oh!WhatamiserablenightIpassed!Thecoldstarsshoneinmockery,andthebaretreeswavedtheirbranchesaboveme;nowandthenthesweetvoiceofabirdburstforthamidsttheuniversalstillness.All,saveI,wereatrestorinenjoyment;I,likethearch-fiend,boreahellwithinme,andfindingmyselfunsympathizedwith,wishedtotearupthetrees,spreadhavocanddestructionaroundme,andthentohavesatdownandenjoyedtheruin.

           "Butthiswasaluxuryofsensationthatcouldnotendure;Ibecamefatiguedwithexcessofbodilyexertionandsankonthedampgrassinthesickimpotenceofdespair.Therewasnoneamongthemyriadsofmenthatexistedwhowouldpityorassistme;andshouldIfeelkindnesstowardsmyenemies?No;fromthatmomentIdeclaredeverlastingwaragainstthespecies,andmorethanall,againsthimwhohadformedmeandsentmeforthtothisinsupportablemisery.

           "Thesunrose;Iheardthevoicesofmenandknewthatitwasimpossibletoreturntomyretreatduringthatday.AccordinglyIhidmyselfinsomethickunderwood,determiningtodevotetheensuinghourstoreflectiononmysituation.