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Chapter XVIII

           Shewasnotgood;shewasnotoriginal:sheusedtorepeatsoundingphrasesfrombooks:sheneveroffered,norhad,anopinionofherown. Sheadvocatedahightoneofsentiment;butshedidnotknowthesensationsofsympathyandpity;tendernessandtruthwerenotinher. Toooftenshebetrayedthis,bytheundueventshegavetoaspitefulantipathyshehadconceivedagainstlittleAdele: pushingherawaywithsomecontumeliousepithetifshehappenedtoapproachher;sometimesorderingherfromtheroom,andalwaystreatingherwithcoldnessandacrimony. Othereyesbesidesminewatchedthesemanifestationsofcharacter—watchedthemclosely,keenly,shrewdly. Yes;thefuturebridegroom,Mr.Rochesterhimself,exercisedoverhisintendedaceaselesssurveillance;anditwasfromthissagacity—thisguardednessofhis—thisperfect,clearconsciousnessofhisfairone’sdefects—thisobviousabsenceofpassioninhissentimentstowardsher,thatmyever-torturingpainarose. 

           Isawhewasgoingtomarryher,forfamily,perhapspoliticalreasons,becauseherrankandconnectionssuitedhim;Ifelthehadnotgivenherhislove,andthatherqualificationswereilladaptedtowinfromhimthattreasure. Thiswasthepoint—thiswaswherethenervewastouchedandteased—thiswaswherethefeverwassustainedandfed: shecouldnotcharmhim. 

           Ifshehadmanagedthevictoryatonce,andhehadyieldedandsincerelylaidhisheartatherfeet,Ishouldhavecoveredmyface,turnedtothewall,and(figuratively)havediedtothem. 

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