Джэйн Эйр

Chapter X

           Itracedthewhiteroadwindingroundthebaseofonemountain,andvanishinginagorgebetweentwo;howIlongedtofollowitfarther!IrecalledthetimewhenIhadtravelledthatveryroadinacoach;Iremembereddescendingthathillattwilight; anageseemedtohaveelapsedsincethedaywhichbroughtmefirsttoLowood,andIhadneverquitteditsince. Myvacationshadallbeenspentatschool:Mrs.ReedhadneversentformetoGateshead;neithershenoranyofherfamilyhadeverbeentovisitme. Ihadhadnocommunicationbyletterormessagewiththeouterworld:school-rules,school-duties,school-habitsandnotions,andvoices,andfaces,andphrases,andcostumes,andpreferences,andantipathiessuchwaswhatIknewofexistence. AndnowIfeltthatitwasnotenough;Itiredoftheroutineofeightyearsinoneafternoon. Idesiredliberty;forlibertyIgasped;forlibertyIutteredaprayer;itseemedscatteredonthewindthenfaintlyblowing. Iabandoneditandframedahumblersupplication;forchange,stimulus:thatpetition,too,seemedsweptoffintovaguespace:"Then,"Icried,halfdesperate,"grantmeatleastanewservitude!" 

           Hereabell,ringingthehourofsupper,calledmedownstairs. 

           Iwasnotfreetoresumetheinterruptedchainofmyreflectionstillbedtime:eventhenateacherwhooccupiedthesameroomwithmekeptmefromthesubjecttowhichIlongedtorecur,byaprolongedeffusionofsmalltalk. HowIwishedsleepwouldsilenceher.Itseemedasif,couldIbutgobacktotheideawhichhadlastenteredmymindasIstoodatthewindow,someinventivesuggestionwouldriseformyrelief. 

           MissGrycesnoredatlast;shewasaheavyWelshwoman,andtillnowherhabitualnasalstrainshadneverbeenregardedbymeinanyotherlightthanasanuisance; to-nightIhailedthefirstdeepnoteswithsatisfaction;Iwasdebarrassedofinterruption;myhalf-effacedthoughtinstantlyrevived. 

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