Красное и черное

An Evening in the Country

           

           "ShallIbeasnervousandmiserableovermyfirstduel?"saidJulientohimself;forhewastoosuspiciousbothofhimselfandofothers,nottorealisehisownmentalstate.

           Inhismortalanguish,hewouldhavepreferredanydangerwhatsoever.HowmanytimesdidhenotwishsomemattertocropupwhichwouldnecessitateMadamedeRênalgoingintothehouseandleavingthegarden!TheviolentstrainonJulien’snerveswastoogreatforhisvoicenottobeconsiderablychanged;soonMadamedeRênal’svoicebecamenervousaswell,butJuliendidnotnoticeit.Theawfulbattleragingbetweendutyandtimiditywastoopainful,forhimtobeinapositiontoobserveanythingoutsidehimself.Aquartertotenhadjuststruckonthechâteauclockwithouthishavingventuredanything.Julienwasindignantathisowncowardice,andsaidtohimself,"attheexactmomentwhenteno’clockstrikes,IwillperformwhatIhaveresolvedtodoallthroughtheday,orIwillgouptomyroomandblowoutmybrains."

           Afterafinalmomentofexpectationandanxiety,duringwhichJulienwasrenderedalmostbesidehimselfbyhisexcessiveemotion,teno’clockstruckfromtheclockoverhishead.Eachstrokeofthefatalclockreverberatedinhisbosom,andcausedanalmostphysicalpang.

           Finally,whenthelaststrokeoftenwasstillreverberating,hestretchedouthishandandtookMadamedeRênal’s,whoimmediatelywithdrewit.Julien,scarcelyknowingwhathewasdoing,seizeditagain.

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