Красное и черное

Painful Details

           HerarelythoughtaboutmademoiselledelaMole.Hispassionofremorseengrossedhimagreatdeal,andoftenconjureduptheimageofmadamedeRênal,particularlyduringthesilenceofthenight,whichinthishighturretwasonlydisturbedbythesongoftheosprey.

           Hethankedheaventhathehadnotinflictedamortalwound."Astonishing,"hesaidtohimself,"IthoughtthatshehaddestroyedmyfuturehappinessforeverbyherlettertoM.delaMole,andhereamI,lessthanafortnightafterthedateofthatletter,notgivingasinglethoughttoallthethingsthatengrossedmethen.Anincomeoftwoorthreethousandfrancs,onwhichtolivequietlyinamountaindistrict,likeVergy....Iwashappythen....Ididnotrealisemyhappiness."

           Atothermomentshewouldjumpupfromhischair."IfIhadmortallywoundedmadamedeRênal,Iwouldhavekilledmyself....Ineedtofeelcertainofthatsoasnottohorrifymyself."

           "Killmyself?That’sthegreatquestion,"hesaidtohimself."Oh,thosejudges,thosefiendsofredtape,whowouldhangtheirbestcitizeninordertowinthecross....Atanyrate,IshouldescapefromtheircontrolandfromthebadFrenchoftheirinsults,whichthelocalpaperwillcalleloquence."

           "Istillhavefiveorsixweeks,moreorlesstolive....Killmyself.No,notforaminute,"hesaidtohimselfaftersomedays,"Napoleonwentonliving."

           "Besides,Ifindlifepleasant,thisplaceisquiet,Iamnottroubledwithbores,"headdedwithasmile,andhebegantomakeoutalistofthebookswhichhewantedtoorderfromParis.

           

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