Красное и черное

The Japanese Vase

           "Hemustbedoingsomethingverymuchagainstthegrain,"hethought;"heisnaturallysopolite."

           SleepwouldhavebeenahappinesstoJulien.Inspiteofhisphysicalfatigue,memorieswhichwereonlytooseductivecommencedtoinvadehisimagination.Hehadnotthegeniustoseethat,inasmuchashislongridesonhorsebackoverforestsontheoutskirtsofParisonlyaffectedhim,andhadnoaffectatallonMathilde’sheartormind,hewasconsequentlyleavinghiseventualdestinytothecapriceofchance.Hethoughtthatonethingwouldgivehispainaninfiniterelief:itwouldbetospeaktoMathilde.Yetwhatwouldheventuretosaytoher?

           Hewasdreamingdeeplyaboutthisatseveno’clockonemorningwhenhesuddenlysawherenterthelibrary.

           "Iknow,monsieur,thatyouareanxioustospeaktome."

           "Greatheavens!whotoldyou?"

           "Iknow,anyway;thatisenough.Ifyouaredishonourable,youcanruinme,oratleasttryto.Butthisdanger,whichIdonotbelievetobereal,willcertainlynotpreventmefrombeingsincere.Idonotloveyouanymore,monsieur,Ihavebeenledastraybymyfoolishimagination."

           Distractedbyloveandunhappiness,asaresultofthisterribleblow,Julientriedtojustifyhimself.Nothingcouldhavebeenmoreabsurd.Doesonemakeanyexcusesforfailuretoplease?Butreasonhadnolongeranycontroloverhisactions.Ablindinstincturgedhimtogetthedeterminationofhisfatepostponed.Hethoughtthat,solongashekeptonspeaking,allcouldnotbeover.Mathildehadnotlistenedtohiswords;theirsoundirritatedher.

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