Красное и черное

Painful Moments

           Ifhehadbeenalittlelessawkwardandhehadcoollysaidtotheyounggirl,whomheadoredsomuchandwhohadbeengivinghimsuchstrangeconfidences:"admitthatthoughIamnotworthasmuchasallthesegentlemen,Iamnonethelessthemanwhomyouloved,"shewouldperhapshavebeenhappyatbeingatthusguessed;atanyratesuccesswouldhaveentirelydependedonthegracewithwhichJulienhadexpressedtheidea,andonthemomentwhichhehadchosentodoso.InanycasehewouldhaveextricatedhimselfwellandadvantageouslyfromasituationwhichMathildewasbeginningtofindmonotonous.

           "Andyoulovemenolonger,me,whoadoresyou!"saidJulientoheroneday,overcomebyloveandunhappiness.Thispieceoffollywasperhapsthegreatestwhichhecouldhavecommitted.ThesewordsimmediatelydestroyedallthepleasurewhichmademoiselledelaMolefoundintalkingtohimaboutthestateofherheart.Shewasbeginningtobesurprisedthathedidnot,afterwhathadhappened,takeoffenceatwhatshetoldhim.Shehadevengonesofarastoimagineattheverymomentwhenhemadethatfoolishremarkthatperhapshedidnotloveheranymore."Hispridehasdoubtlessextinguishedhislove,"shewassayingtoherself."HeisnotthemantositstillandseepeoplelikeCaylus,deLuz,Croisenoiswhomheadmitsaresosuperior,preferredtohim.No,Ishallneverseehimatmyfeetagain."

           Julienhadofteninthenaivetyofhisunhappiness,duringthepreviousdayspraisedsincerelythebrilliantqualitiesofthesegentlemen;hewouldevengosofarastoexaggeratethem.

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