Красное и черное

Another Danton

           "

           ThisuncertaintyandthisdiscussionwithherselfwhichhenceforthmonopolisedMathilde’stime,andinconnectionwithwhichshefoundnewargumentseachtimethatJulienspoketoher,completelyroutedthosefitsofboredomtowhichshehadbeensoliable.

           Daughterasshewasofamanofintellectwhomightbecomeaminister,mademoiselledelaMolehadbeenwhenintheconventoftheSacredHeart,theobjectofthemostexcessiveflattery.Thismisfortunecanneverbecompensatedfor.Shehadbeenpersuadedthatbyreasonofallheradvantagesofbirth,fortune,etc.,sheoughttobehappierthananyoneelse.Thisisthecauseoftheboredomofprincesandofalltheirfollies.

           Mathildehadnotescapedthedeadlyinfluenceofthisidea.Howeverintelligentonemaybe,onecannotattheageoftenbeonone’sguardagainsttheflatteriesofawholeconvent,whichareapparentlysowellfounded.

           FromthemomentthatshehaddecidedthatshelovedJulien,shewasnolongerbored.Shecongratulatedherselfeverydayonhavingdeliberatelydecidedtoindulgeinagrandpassion."Thisamusementisverydangerous,"shethought."Allthebetter,allthebetter,athousandtimes.WithoutagrandpassionIshouldbelanguishinginboredomduringthefinesttimeofmylife,theyearsfromsixteentotwenty.Ihavealreadywastedmyfinestyears:allmypleasureconsistedinbeingobligedtolistentothesillyargumentsofmymother’sfriendswhowhenatCoblentzin1792werenotquitesostrict,sotheysay,astheirwordsofto-day.

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