Красное и черное

First Experience of Life

           ItwouldhavebeensoeasyforhimtohaveenlistedinoneofthefineregimentsatthegarrisonofBesançon.HecouldhavebecomeaLatinmaster.Heneededsolittleforhissubsistence,butinthatcasenomorecareer,nomorefutureforhisimagination.Itwasequivalenttodeath.Hereisoneofhissaddaysindetail:

           "Ihavesooftenpresumedtocongratulatemyselfonbeingdifferentfromtheotheryoungpeasants!Well,Ihavelivedenoughtorealisethatdifferenceengendershate,"hesaidtohimselfonemorning.Thisgreattruthhadjustbeenborneinuponhimbyoneofhismostirritatingfailures.Hehadbeenworkingforeightdaysatteachingapupilwholivedinanodourofsanctity.Heusedtogooutwithhimintothecourtyardandlistensubmissivelytopiecesoffatuityenoughtosendonetosleepstanding.Suddenlytheweatherturnedstormy.Thethundergrowled,andtheholypupilexclaimedasheroughlypushedhimaway.

           "Listen!Everyoneforhimselfinthisworld.Idon’twanttobeburnedbythethunder.Godmaystrikeyouwithlightninglikeablasphemer,likeaVoltaire."

           "IdeservetobedrownedifIgotosleepduringthestorm,"exclaimedJulien,withhisteethclenchedwithrage,andwithhiseyesopenedtowardstheskynowfurrowedbythelightning."Letustrytheconquestofsomeotherrogue."

           ThebellrangfortheabbéCastanède’scourseofsacredhistory.

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