Емма

Chapter 14

           Knightleyremainedwiththem,Emma’sfevercontinued;butwhenhewasgone,shebegantobealittletranquillisedandsubduedandinthecourseofthesleeplessnight,whichwasthetaxforsuchanevening,shefoundoneortwosuchveryseriouspointstoconsider,asmadeherfeel,thatevenherhappinessmusthavesomealloy.HerfatherandHarriet.Shecouldnotbealonewithoutfeelingthefullweightoftheirseparateclaims;andhowtoguardthecomfortofbothtotheutmost,wasthequestion.Withrespecttoherfather,itwasaquestionsoonanswered.ShehardlyknewyetwhatMr.Knightleywouldask;butaveryshortparleywithherownheartproducedthemostsolemnresolutionofneverquittingherfather.Sheevenweptovertheideaofit,asasinofthought.Whilehelived,itmustbeonlyanengagement;butsheflatteredherself,thatifdivestedofthedangerofdrawingheraway,itmightbecomeanincreaseofcomforttohim.HowtodoherbestbyHarriet,wasofmoredifficultdecisionhowtospareherfromanyunnecessarypain;howtomakeheranypossibleatonement;howtoappearleastherenemy?Onthesesubjects,herperplexityanddistresswereverygreatandhermindhadtopassagainandagainthrougheverybitterreproachandsorrowfulregretthathadeversurroundedit.

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