Емма

Chapter 13

           Shewishedhimtospeak,buthewouldnot.Shesupposedshemustsaymorebeforeshewereentitledtohisclemency;butitwasahardcasetobeobligedstilltolowerherselfinhisopinion.Shewenton,however.

           "Ihaveverylittletosayformyownconduct.—Iwastemptedbyhisattentions,andallowedmyselftoappearpleased.—Anoldstory,probably—acommoncase—andnomorethanhashappenedtohundredsofmysexbefore;andyetitmaynotbethemoreexcusableinonewhosetsupasIdoforUnderstanding.Manycircumstancesassistedthetemptation.HewasthesonofMr.Weston—hewascontinuallyhere—Ialwaysfoundhimverypleasant—and,inshort,for(withasigh)letmeswelloutthecauseseversoingeniously,theyallcentreinthisatlast—myvanitywasflattered,andIallowedhisattentions.Latterly,however—forsometime,indeed—Ihavehadnoideaoftheirmeaninganything.—Ithoughtthemahabit,atrick,nothingthatcalledforseriousnessonmyside.Hehasimposedonme,buthehasnotinjuredme.Ihaveneverbeenattachedtohim.AndnowIcantolerablycomprehendhisbehaviour.Heneverwishedtoattachme.Itwasmerelyablindtoconcealhisrealsituationwithanother.—Itwashisobjecttoblindallabouthim;andnoone,Iamsure,couldbemoreeffectuallyblindedthanmyself—exceptthatIwasnotblinded—thatitwasmygoodfortune—that,inshort,Iwassomehoworothersafefromhim.

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