Королі та капуста

           DoñaMariaCastillasyBuenventuradelasCasassteppedfromherhonoureddoorway,aswasherdailycustom,toprocurefreshbreadfromthepanaderiaacrossthestreet.Shewascladinaskirtoffloweredyellowsatin,achemiseofruffledlinen,andworeapurplemantillafromtheloomsofSpain.Herlemon-tintedfeet,alas!werebare.Herprogresswasmajestic,forwerenotherancestorshidalgosofAragon?Threestepsshemadeacrossthevelvetygrass,andsetheraristocraticsoleuponabunchofJohnny’sburrs.DoñaMariaCastillasyBuenventuradelasCasasemittedayowlevenasawild-cat.Turningabout,shefelluponhandsandknees,andcrawled—ay,likeabeastofthefieldshecrawledbacktoherhonourabledoor-sill.

           DonSeñorIldefonsoFedericoValdazar,JuezdelaPaz,weighingtwentystone,attemptedtoconveyhisbulktothepulperiaatthecorneroftheplazainordertoassuagehismatutinalthirst.Thefirstplungeofhisunshodfootintothecoolgrassstruckaconcealedmine.DonIldefonsofelllikeacrumpledcathedral,cryingoutthathehadbeenfatallybittenbyadeadlyscorpion.Everywhereweretheshoelesscitizenshopping,stumbling,limping,andpickingfromtheirfeetthevenomousinsectsthathadcomeinasinglenighttoharassthem.

           ThefirsttoperceivetheremedywasEstebánDelgado,thebarber,amanoftravelandeducation.Sittinguponastone,hepluckedburrsfromhistoes,andmadeoration:

           "Behold,myfriends,thesebugsofthedevil!Iknowthemwell.Theysoarthroughtheskiesinswarmslikepigeons.