Королі та капуста

           "‘Boutright,"agreedtheconsul."Notovertwentyoutofthethreethousandeverfeltleatherontheirwalkingarrangements.Oh,yes;Coralioisjustthetownforanenterprisingshoestore—thatdoesn’twanttopartwithitsgoods.WonderifoldPattersonistryingtojollyme!Healwayswasfullofthingshecalledjokes.Writehimaletter,Billy.I’lldictateit.We’lljollyhimbackafew."

           Keoghdippedhispen,andwroteatJohnny’sdictation.Withmanypauses,filledinwithsmokeandsundrytravellingsofthebottleandglasses,thefollowingreplytotheDalesburgcommunicationwasperpetrated:

           MR.OBADIAHPATTERSON,

           Dalesburg,Ala.

           DearSir:InreplytoyourfavourofJuly2d,Ihavethehonourtoinformyouthat,accordingtomyopinion,thereisnoplaceonthehabitableglobethatpresentstotheeyestrongerevidenceoftheneedofafirst-classshoestorethandoesthetownofCoralio.Thereare3,000inhabitantsintheplace,andnotasingleshoestore!Thesituationspeaksforitself.Thiscoastisrapidlybecomingthegoalofenterprisingbusinessmen,buttheshoebusinessisonethathasbeensadlyoverlookedorneglected.Infact,thereareaconsiderablenumberofourcitizensactuallywithoutshoesatpresent.

           Besidesthewantabovementioned,thereisalsoacryingneedforabrewery,acollegeofhighermathematics,acoalyard,andacleanandintellectualPunchandJudyshow.Ihavethehonourtobe,sir,

           YourObt.Servant,

           JOHNDEGRAFFENREIDATWOOD,U.S.ConsulatCoralio.

           P.S.—Hello!UncleObadiah.