The Furniture That Went Mad

           NowithappenedthatintheearlyhoursofWhitMonday,beforeMilliewashuntedoutfortheday,Mr.HallandMrs.Hallbothroseandwentnoiselesslydownintothecellar. Theirbusinesstherewasofaprivatenature,andhadsomethingtodowiththespecificgravityoftheirbeer. TheyhadhardlyenteredthecellarwhenMrs.Hallfoundshehadforgottentobringdownabottleofsarsaparillafromtheirjoint-room. Asshewastheexpertandprincipaloperatorinthisaffair,Hallveryproperlywentupstairsforit. 

           Onthelandinghewassurprisedtoseethatthestranger'sdoorwasajar. Hewentonintohisownroomandfoundthebottleashehadbeendirected. 

           Butreturningwiththebottle,henoticedthattheboltsofthefrontdoorhadbeenshotback,thatthedoorwasinfactsimplyonthelatch. Andwithaflashofinspirationheconnectedthiswiththestranger'sroomupstairsandthesuggestionsofMr.TeddyHenfrey. HedistinctlyrememberedholdingthecandlewhileMrs.Hallshottheseboltsovernight. Atthesighthestopped,gaping,thenwiththebottlestillinhishandwentupstairsagain.Herappedatthestranger'sdoor. Therewasnoanswer. Herappedagain;thenpushedthedoorwideopenandentered. 

           Itwasasheexpected. Thebed,theroomalso,wasempty. Andwhatwasstranger,eventohisheavyintelligence,onthebedroomchairandalongtherailofthebedwerescatteredthegarments,theonlygarmentssofarasheknew,andthebandagesoftheirguest.Hisbigslouchhatevenwascockedjauntilyoverthebed-post. 

           AsHallstoodthereheheardhiswife'svoicecomingoutofthedepthofthecellar,withthatrapidtelescopingofthesyllablesandinterrogativecockingupofthefinalwordstoahighnote,bywhichtheWestSussexvillageriswonttoindicateabriskimpatience. "George!Yougartwhadawand?"