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The Inconsiderate Waiter
ThatWilliamreplied(verysensibly)thatiftheclubwasshortofwaitersatsupper-timesomeofthegentlemenmightbekeptwaitingfortheirmarrow-bone.Thathesatupwithhismissusmostofthenight,andpretendedtoherthathegotsomenicelongnapsattheclub.Thatwhatshetalkedtohimaboutmostlywasthekid.ThatthekidwasinanotherpartofLondon(inchargeofapersoncalledtheoldwoman),becausetherewasanepidemicinIrene’sstreet.
“Andwhatdoesthedoctorsayaboutyourmother?”
“Hesometimessaysshewouldhaveachanceifshecouldgetherkidback.”
“Nonsense.”
“Andifshewastooktothecountry.”
“ThenwhydoesnotWilliamtakeher?”
“My!Andifshedrankportywine.”
“Doesn’tshe?”
“No.Butfather,hetellsher’bouthowthegentlemendrinksit.”
Iturnedfromherwithrelief,butshecameafterme.
“Ain’tyergoingtodoitthistime?”shedemandedwithafallingface.“Youdoneitlasttime.Itellheryoudoneit”—shepointedtoherfriendwhowaslookingwistfullyatme—“ain’tyoutoletherseeyoudoingofit?”
ForamomentIthoughtthatherdesirewasanothershilling,butbyapieceofpantomimesheshowedthatshewantedmetoliftmyhattoher.SoIliftedit,andwhenIlookedbehindshehadherheadintheairandherneighbourwasgazingatherawestruck.Theselittlecreaturesarereallynotwithoutmerit.
AboutaweekafterwardIwasinahiredlandau,holdinganewspaperbeforemyfacelestanyoneshouldseemeincompanyofawaiterandhiswife.